Dating is hard enough. Dating the wrong person is a total waste of time and energy. The problem is that we don’t always know when we’re dating the wrong person. Even if we have an inkling, we’re pretty good at brushing it aside. Explaining away red flags is a common human habit. We all want to be loved and to connect with someone. Whenever red flags pop up, we give them the cold shoulder because we don’t want to be alone.
Obviously, this isn’t true for every person. Some people see the first red flag and run, but there are countless others out there who don’t. They make justifications, and remain in a relationship that doesn’t serve them for far too long. Here are some common signs you’re dating the wrong person and should probably move on immediately for your own mental health’s sake.
It’s Always On-Off Again
Ok, BIG red flag right here. Why would a healthy, good relationship have to have the same status as a light switch? It doesn’t make sense. If you’re with the right person, you don’t have to second-guess things, take “breaks,” or constantly get into arguments that then result in The Silent Treatment (ugh). Yes, there is a certain amount of excitement in an on-off relationship (as crazy as that sounds), but don’t let it blind you to what’s really going on.
Nothing Ever Seems To Improve
If you’re always talking things out and voicing your issues with the relationship, but nothing ever changes? BYE. There’s no point in sticking it out in this situation, because chances are it's not going to get better. It’s just not! As hard as it is to admit this, it’s just the annoying truth that you’re stuck in some never-ending cycle. Putting up with it will only result in resentment and possibly a dramatic breakup in the end. Let’s avoid that, shall we?
Labels Make Them Cringe
Ooh, not good. We’re not saying you need to rush to label the relationship after a week or two, but we are saying you need to avoid people who never want to refer to you as their girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. Unless you have an open relationship or it’s really not that serious, refusing to put a label on a relationship can be a sign that the person you’re dating will never fully commit. If you’re ok with that, that’s one thing. If you’re not, run.
The Potential Is More Seductive Than The Reality
It’s not unusual for people to make up fantasy scenarios about someone they’re dating. When the relationship is new, it’s fun to daydream about the future. But you have to remember not to go too far into fantasy territory. You might start idealizing the relationship and then being disappointed if the reality doesn’t actually match up. It’s a common trap many fall into, so just make sure you are being realistic about the relationship, your partner, and your expectations.
You’re A Little Too Comfortable
Ask yourself: Are you with your partner because it’s comfortable, or because there’s passion and deep love? There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable with your partner, but if that’s the sole reason you’re with them, then it’s not a good foundation for the future. Sometimes people are so afraid of being lonely and alone that they settle for just about anyone. Thus, the relationship ultimately becomes one of comfort and not much else.
They Never Apologize
Apologies? What are those? If your partner never apologizes after you’ve expressed that you’re upset or that they’ve hurt you in some way, it’s a very bad sign. If they can’t even bring themselves to apologize, they’re certainly not going to try to change their ways. If they don’t try to change, then you’re only going to get hurt over and over again. Break the cycle, babe.