If there’s anyone who lives rent-free in our minds very frequently, it’s our exes. Who can relate? EVERYONE. We all have that one ex who just refuses to leave our head space. They linger like an unwanted houseguest, eating all your food (aka positive energy) and leaving behind a big ole mess (tears, negative thoughts, turmoil). The only way forward is by doing a deep clean of your brain. Let’s explore what that means!
Throw A Party
Pity party or real party? Why not both? First, you can throw yourself a little pity party, which can involve copious amounts of tears and ice cream and maybe screaming into a pillow. We support it. Then, you can throw a real party with your friends, in which you have an unabashed (maybe even wild) celebration of the end of the relationship. You’ve heard of divorce parties, right? Similar sentiment here. If you reframe the end of the relationship as a celebratory event rather than one to mourn, it can help you move on.
Out Of Bed, Out Of Head
Do not jump back into bed with your ex, as tempting as it may be. First of all, you’re not going to keep them just through sex (even if it is mindblowing). Secondly, it’ll make it that much harder to move on. Make the vibrator or your hand your friend after the breakup! Trust us.
Write It Out
Journaling can be so therapeutic. Take this opportunity to write down all your feelings, fears, longings, and whatever else comes to mind about your ex and your time with them. Seeing it written down on paper can give you a perspective shift. Maybe you can even make a list of all the times they hurt you or made you feel less than. Seeing it all laid out in front of you can help jolt you out of your obsessive thoughts.
Focus On You
Were you the type to always do things with your ex? Maybe you two were inseparable and now being on your own is depressing and hard. Well, it’s time to start a project, babe. Focusing on something that you have to do on your own can be very healing. You could start an art project, redecorate your space completely, take a class that will further your career ambitions. The sky’s the limit! Pro Tip: Choose something that will take up a lot of your time. A short project might not be enough to fully get your mind off your ex.
Indulge A Little
Breakups and toxic relationships can drain your energy. So it will be helpful to do something reviving and re-energizing. Spa days immediately come to mind. Book yourself a massage followed by a mani/pedi sesh or a facial. But don’t stop there. Do whatever makes you feel rejuvenated. Maybe that’s being in nature, going on a shopping spree, hanging out with your besties. You know yourself best, so make sure you give yourself what you need.
Accept And Let Go
Easier said than done, honey! But not impossible. The evolved side of you knows that you have to accept that the relationship is over. The less evolved side is holding onto the relationship for dear life. The two have to battle it out, and hopefully the evolved side emerges victorious. Sometimes, acceptance doesn’t come because we subconsciously resist it. Understanding this resistance will actually help you achieve acceptance. You just have to be open to it.